Fullness of Joy

Thou wilt show me the PATH of life
In thy PRESENCE is fulness of joy
At thy right hand there are PLEASURES for evermore
Ps. 16:11

Evermore: continually to the most distant point of view; constantly; perpetual
Fulness: be satisfied
Earthly pleasures aren't cutting it here!

Just the pleasure of sitting at God's right hand...then add the assurance that these pleasures will last into infinity-it's incomprehensible in our finite minds.

We have no earthly experience to draw from for comparison.

Yes, I've experienced earthly pleasure for a moment, a few hours, maybe even a few weeks
(you know the infatuation stage of most relationships)but that's even stretching it. To try and comprehend them continuing for evermore...like knowing with a surety that the Lord is coming back for us-our pleasure will always be with us in heaven...all in fulness of joy.

We cannot in our human state grasp either of these concepts
(for me personally it's like trying to wrap my mind around complex math-never gonna happen)
Fulness of joy- can you imagine people walking out of a buffet, but they were saying
"I'm so full...of joy"
It makes me a little giddy just trying to imagine it.
You have a different feeling when your hungry verses when your full, in fact your whole outlook on life can get quite skewed. I know on earth I can't maintain the type of "full joy" I'll have in God's presence...but I do not feel we should strive any less to fill ourselves up with joy. The difference on earth may be that our joy reserves deplete and fast- so we have to keep drinking at God's reservoir of life giving joy...his word...and stay in his presence before we leap into life each day.

Again, I know I'm repeating myself...but even just imagining staying in a full state of joy, makes me sooo content, like I'm ready to curl up and take a nap (smile)

It's the difference between talking about doing something...and then actually doing it. Joy and pleasure on this earth is kind of like were still in the talking phase...

And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting JOY upon their heads...they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall pass flee away...enter thou into the
JOY of thy lord...so that I might finish my course with JOY, and the ministry, which I have
received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.
Isaiah 35:10, Matt 25:21, Acts 20:24

Finally got my Sunday morning thoughts posted, hope you are encouraged in the Lord. I might not have a church yet "in the conventional sense" but I strive to stay in God's presence and through technology (that half the time I am opposed too) the Lord has opened up avenues across the United States through other believers and friends to to keep me challenged and encouraged...thank you Lord.

The life of a day-

I've alway lacked in time spent on reading poetry, I've been trying to remedy this lately. Here is a poem I read recently that I thoroughly enjoyed:

The Life of a Day

Tom Hennen

Like people or dogs, each day is unique and has its own personality quirks which can easily be seen if you look closely. But there are so few days as compared to people, not to mention dogs, that it would be surprising if a day were not a hundred times more interesting than most people.

But usually they just pass, mostly unnoticed, unless they are wildly nice, like autumn ones full of red maple trees and hazy sunlight, or if they are grimly awful ones in a winter blizzard that kills the lost traveler and bunches of cattle.

For some reason we like to see days pass, even though most of us claim we don't want to reach our last one for a long time. We examine each day before us with barely a glance and say, no, this isn't one I've been looking for, and wait in a bored sort of way for the next, when, we are convinced, our lives will start for real.

Meanwhile, this day is going by perfectly well-adjusted, as some days are, with the right amounts of sunlight and shade, and a light breeze scented with a perfume made from the mix-
ture of fallen apples, corn stubble, dry oak leaves, and the faint odor of last night's meandering skunk.

It's been a while...

So it's been forever since I've blogged, honestly I never really got into it fully in the first place. You know there are tons of things you want to share, but then it seems so broad and jumbled I never knew which way to go with things. I thought I needed a specific goal for my blog or theme...that's just not the type of person I am so I'm not sure why I was trying to do that with my writing. I am a very broad person in my interest goals, desires etc. I am going to try and be more intentional with my writing. One because I would actually like to get better at it. Two I feel that once I put my thoughts on paper it's easier for me to reflect and grow from that. Three I just feel that were always going through things that someone else can glean from, so I want to share those things.


It has also been difficult to write when I view the last 8 months, I tend to view them as unproductive where nothing was being accomplished, just because I haven't found a church or a job. When that is actually so far from the truth. God literally has plopped me in the middle of Mennoniteville and made me stop and think and reflect and reach for him and be still and wait. I needed this. So often when your trying to figure out the next step others things need to happen first before you can move. I think God wanted to grow me on the inside. So, even though the outside might seem like its failing the good things are happening that really matter that have nothing to due with worldly standards or values.


Izaak has almost finished kindergarten and since I didn't find a job I was able to be home this whole year...blessing

I've turned into a pretty cool soccer Mom...blessing (believe me this was never an aspiration of mine)

I have a beautiful garden, that I've actually had the time to enjoy...blessing

I've got to spend countless hours in the word of God! While he's been drawing me closer...the ultimate blessing



I've got to learn more about living, eating, buying, growing clean products and have been making solid choices in these areas...blessing



I've had the time to figure out who I am...and liking who that person is...blessing

I've got to watch my relationship with my son absolutely blossom...blessing




Just so you know since my last blog I stuck to my convictions, and Halloween, Christmas, Valentines and Easter...I did not buy chocolate, yeah me!


I need to end this rambling mess of thoughts, but just wanted to say I'm really going to try and write out my thought and share what I've been learning.

your voice is a gift

Yes, I'm back to that...
I've actually been dwelling on this thought for awhile now, why did God gift me with a voice if I was never going to use it?
Why is it so hard to follow through with convictions, take a stand for something, anything, believe you can actually make a difference?
I don't know for sure, but for me personally, I think it may be selfishness, maybe unintentional at that but still selfishness. If something is not right up in my face affecting me, I forget about it, I'm not driven to change. I'm not even talking about big things, even the smallest little things apply the same way.
So I read an article a few days ago that made me decide to not eat most brands of chocolate, because they are not fair trade. Children as young as five years old are working in the fields to supply us our chocolate addiction. (that is just me personally, the addicted part) So I decided I'm only going to eat chocolate that is not made this way, there is a list that I can't pronounce of chocolates that are OK to eat. I'm still looking into all this, I'm going to do some research, make some calls see what this is really all about, but until then I'm not going to eat it.
I know who cares, your not going to eat chocolate, I hope that at least with all the women that read this they understand this is a little bigger deal then it sounds, that is most ice creams i like, the good granola bars, hot cocoa, chocolate milk, mint chocolate is my absolute favorite standby, plus peanut butter and chocolate always makes a day better.
Most people never hear about this stuff and even when they do they are not impassioned to do anything about it because it's not in our face, it not affecting us, like recycling most people just choose not to do it, because it takes a little effort.
Maybe they pretend those giant landfills don't exist and that there are trash fairies that magically make our trash disappear once we put in on the curb...but the ugly truth is that we are destroying God beautiful creation buy covering it with our waste. If the town you lived in decided to put a landfill across the street from you house, I'm pretty sure this would motivate you to not let this happen, why because the ugly truth would be right in your face affecting you and your children.
That's exactly my point, it we had all the kindergarten kids we know across the street working twelve hours getting our precious cocoa for our chocolate fix, wouldn't you look at it different. Anyway these are my own personal convictions, and I'm taking some baby steps of my own. I've been clearing out my throat and now I'm going to start practicing with this voice God gave me.
These are small little convictions that motivate me to action, try and parallel this with your spiritual life, how God reveals something monumental to you, and boy are you fired up, you are going to change right now..and two days later you've entirely forgot about it...I don't want that to be me, so I figure I'll start small and hopefully this practice will carry over into other areas of my life, specifically spiritual convictions I may have.
(I don't profess to be up on politics or even a good debater, but I realise that this is a vicious cycle, we get fair wages to be implemented and age limits for when children can work our chocolate is going to cost more, which I personally think is not a bad thing. Maybe when that happens we'll just buy it as a treat and not overindulge, just a thought. I also don't want to be labeled a hypocrite, I know this sort of thing happens in many other areas, but I'm only human and I'm hoping every little baby step I take will start making a difference where these things stop happening all together)
So follow along on my little journey if you'd like, it might be interesting!

Still contemplating

So I escaped for a moment tonight, trying to regain some semblance of sanity, here follows some of my wondering thoughts on the way to the grocery store to buy snacks for lunches:
"The moon was absolutely breathtaking completely engulfed by a haze of harvest moonlight. When I take pause and look at the incomprehensible complexities of God's creation I am humbled that this God, my God cares about little old me...Enough so that he takes the time to direct my steps, he's my strength, my power-he alone maketh my way perfect. He is my strong tower, he alone is my constant!!! He will always care about little old me. How privileged I am to love a God such as this..."
So, I've been pondering this thought and it has been such a source of strength for me. I often times feel encouraged when I focus on God instead of myself.
I've been in Maryland about five weeks now and have been discouraged at times because things have not been progressing in a timely fashion, for me at least.
God has been convicting me about this, why am I not thankful for this pause, why do I let things get heavy and focus on the futures instead of embracing the present. God has probably intentionally Incorporated this pause in my life so I can grow with him and get strengthened...so often times I squander this precious time.
Why is it that the more time that goes by and things don't start falling into place that I start doubting my decision. When have things ever just fallen into place when I followed the Lord's leading, usually he wants to teach me something, and I'm stubborn and difficult and usually have to learn it again. I've been learning to take advantage of these opportunities, to dig down and get rid of the junk that is separating me from my God and to hold on tight.
Even though I still don't have a clue what God has planned for my immediate future, like a church home, employment, a house, Godly friends....I am starting to get excited. I am started to feel passionate again. I've been able to read so much her in Maryland that my mind feels alive, so active. I want to do things affect people, take a stand, be the voice that God created me to be, specifically, no one else can be my voice...watch out I'm clearing my throat!!!

A Princess Found

Just finished reading a wonderful book A Princess Found, I am going to attempt to tell you a little about it, definitely request it from you library if you have time.

I know I have many friends that try to stay informed about the rest of the world, and fight against the norm of getting stuck in their little bubble of life to busy to look left or right.

This book opens your eyes to the atrocities that took place during the eleven year civil war in war torn countries in Africa. It gives a glimpse of before and the after affects the ravages of the war waged on the people.

It also talks of a young girl that lives in West Virginia who was adopted when she was one, it weaves her life for us and the struggles she faced being biracial and adopted by a white family. How she meets her father in Sierra Leone and finally understands what it feels to be accepted by family and through that accepts the responsibility laid on her because now she knows.
This book really resonated with me, Sarah expressed her fears about meeting her birth father, even though I wasn't adopted I still did not get to know my birth father until I was a young woman. I remember the thoughts and fears I had so well and there were so many similarities.
You won't be disappointed with this book, it's an easy read, but at the same time challenges you to think, outside of what is comfortable to you.

Late night ramblings

This was the ending to a near perfect day, my son building a fire even though it was close to 90 degrees outside, and his mommy letting go and just letting him, even though all reason spoke against it. Well my family was coming over today by default really, two single men and a grandmother who is unable to host family get together s leaves this task to me which means I have to clean, clean, clean.
For months now I have been neglecting my fish, unable to just flush them down the toilet, that would just be too cruel, I just figured if over time they just died it would be easier down the road, if I move. So, I have not cleaned their tank for months, many days they have not been fed, still they thrive on. It was looking disgusting and since my family was coming I finally broke down today and cleaned their tank, I swear they seemed so happy swimming around actually being able to see.
I know this is a stupid analogy but it is something that I find so true in my life all too often. The more I leave things alone the better they seem to turn out.
When I first entered the world of being a pet owner, and yes by pet I am referring to fish, I did everything for them. I measured everything out, kept the tank at an even temperature, I even bought fish medicine for when they looked sick...no matter what I did they still died. When babies were born, I would put them in a little area protected from the bigger fish, so they could grow and make it on their own without being eaten. Still most of the time they died.
This past Christmas morning we found five baby fish swimming around in our little aquarium and I decided I was just going to leave them alone, guess what they are all still alive, their the ones I can't get to die.
Like my silly fish, some people do not thrive in a controlled environment...but I can say people and fish alike, the least amount of meddling on my part, the more positive the outcome.
This is something that I am trying to grasp as a mother with my son who is spreading his wings out further each day. I am learning that balance of letting him go down the big hill on his scooter, when I am not right there to catch him if he falls. Letting him build a fire, and if he get's burnt then he will be more careful next time. My repeated words over time are pretty futile in these circumstances. The experience is what is going to teach my child, it will leave the longest lasting impression. I have to let go at these times and let him learn this way even though it opens up so many more opportunities for him to hurt.
So yes, I did let my son cut our green beans today with his pocket knife, because this made him feel like somebody, this was a big deal to him, so I made a big deal out of it as well, even though deep down I'm still trying to get over the fact that my little boy has a pocket knife in his pocket.
My rather drawn out point is, it's going to happen, however it happens, so let it and be there for your child when they need you.
Ramblings from a young mother in the middle of the night...