Still contemplating

So I escaped for a moment tonight, trying to regain some semblance of sanity, here follows some of my wondering thoughts on the way to the grocery store to buy snacks for lunches:
"The moon was absolutely breathtaking completely engulfed by a haze of harvest moonlight. When I take pause and look at the incomprehensible complexities of God's creation I am humbled that this God, my God cares about little old me...Enough so that he takes the time to direct my steps, he's my strength, my power-he alone maketh my way perfect. He is my strong tower, he alone is my constant!!! He will always care about little old me. How privileged I am to love a God such as this..."
So, I've been pondering this thought and it has been such a source of strength for me. I often times feel encouraged when I focus on God instead of myself.
I've been in Maryland about five weeks now and have been discouraged at times because things have not been progressing in a timely fashion, for me at least.
God has been convicting me about this, why am I not thankful for this pause, why do I let things get heavy and focus on the futures instead of embracing the present. God has probably intentionally Incorporated this pause in my life so I can grow with him and get strengthened...so often times I squander this precious time.
Why is it that the more time that goes by and things don't start falling into place that I start doubting my decision. When have things ever just fallen into place when I followed the Lord's leading, usually he wants to teach me something, and I'm stubborn and difficult and usually have to learn it again. I've been learning to take advantage of these opportunities, to dig down and get rid of the junk that is separating me from my God and to hold on tight.
Even though I still don't have a clue what God has planned for my immediate future, like a church home, employment, a house, Godly friends....I am starting to get excited. I am started to feel passionate again. I've been able to read so much her in Maryland that my mind feels alive, so active. I want to do things affect people, take a stand, be the voice that God created me to be, specifically, no one else can be my voice...watch out I'm clearing my throat!!!